Confronting the Evil Monkey: How Family Guy Helped Me Better Understand My Generalized Anxiety Disorder

by Michelle Faler

Note: My experience with anxiety may differ from yours. For example, while I can drink coffee and beer in moderation, some people with anxiety disorders can’t consume any caffeine or alcohol. Let me know in the comments how you experience anxiety and what effective ways you’ve learned to manage it. Also, Family Guy often pushes buttons about sensitive topics to make satirical points. Please proceed with caution if you think this show or descriptions of it may trigger or upset you.

For twenty years, I’ve laughed and gasped at the boundary-pushing animated sitcom Family Guy. When I first saw the outrageous Griffin family, I thought they were an offensive, lazy rip off of my beloved Simpsons. After giving the show a second chance, I found that beneath its vomit-stained surface, there is some surprising emotional depth.

As unrealistic as the Griffins can be, I relate to many of their mental and emotional struggles. My change of heart about Family Guy shows me I can gain inspiration for self-reflection from unexpected sources.

Family Guy has many reoccurring gags. My favorite one involves the Evil Monkey that lived in oldest son Chris Griffin’s closet. Throughout the show’s early seasons, the Evil Monkey would pop up to freak out Chris with its pointing arm and scary stare.

After chuckling at the Evil Monkey moments for years, I began to wonder why I was so drawn to them. One day, it hit me like a pie in Meg Griffin’s face: Chris’s relationship with the Evil Monkey is like the one I have with my anxiety disorder.

An Introduction to My Anxiety Disorder

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It causes me to worry about everything from new people to the general unknown. I often obsess over every possible negative outcome of my actions. My constant fear has made me miss out on many opportunities that could have enriched my life.

I’ve lived with anxiety for over 30 years. When I was a kid, I was a wallflower who was afraid of most of my classmates. In high school, I refused to go to prom because I was afraid I would embarrass myself. I’ve struggled as a writer because I’m afraid people will hate my writing.

I spent years forming a shell around myself where I could hide from most of the world. In my mid-30s, I realized this shell had become a prison. Desperate to break my mental chains, I reached out to a therapist.

My therapist showed me how much anxiety has controlled my life. I’ve been living in fear for years like how Chris lived in fear of the Evil Monkey for seven seasons of Family Guy. Though after years of terrifying encounters, Chris captured and confronted that monkey. I need to do the same thing with my anxiety: I must face it head-on and learn to control it.

Before I get to the confrontation, I’m going to discuss specific ways my Generalized Anxiety Disorder is like the Evil Monkey.

No One Can See the Evil Monkey but Chris

Chris is the only one who sees the Evil Monkey throughout most of the series. Whenever Chris tells his parents about it, they disbelieve or outright laugh at him.

While my family never made fun of me and did their best to support me, they didn’t understand why I was so afraid all the time. Mental illnesses like Generalized Anxiety Disorder are not visible like physical disabilities are. My family couldn’t see the anxiety churning in my mind like how Chris’s family couldn’t see what he feared.

Most of the Griffins don’t see the Evil Monkey until season eight, but there’s one who does before then. In the season five premiere “Stewie Loves Lois” (2006), Peter becomes traumatized. As he runs to his room crying, Peter encounters the Evil Monkey outside Chris’s room.

Peter doesn’t see the Evil Monkey for what it is; he mistakes it for his daughter Meg. While Chris regularly spots the freaky primate, Peter notices it only when he’s upset. Also, he doesn’t perceive it the same way his son does.

No one in my family suffers from an anxiety disorder, so they often only feel anxious during stressful situations. It makes sense why they had a hard time understanding why I was so fearful for no good reason. Since I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I can become scared and sad at any moment.

The Evil Monkey Appears at Random When Least Expected

The Evil Monkey’s usual hangout is in or near Chris’s room. It has, on occasion, appeared in other parts of his house. In “Dammit Janet” (2000), Chris is in the living room when he spots the Evil Monkey scowling at him from the staircase.

The Evil Monkey randomly scares Chris as he goes about his day at home. My anxiety can pop up while I’m in my apartment doing laundry or even binge-watching Netflix. Quiet moments at home allow my mind to wander. The more my mind wanders, the more it will find something to worry about.

It’s normal for Chris to run into the Evil Monkey in his house. But he has also seen it (or its counterpart) in unexpected places.

In “Breaking Out is Hard to Do” (2005), Lois goes to prison for shoplifting. After Peter breaks her out, the Griffins escape to Asiantown. Chris assumes he will be safe from the Evil Monkey in this new place. Unfortunately, Chris still sees the creature. This time it’s a stereotypically Asian representation.

Chris didn’t expect to see an Evil Monkey far from home. I don’t expect to get anxious doing activities I love in entertaining or relaxing places. I’ve been dancing at clubs or reading by pools when I felt that familiar fear creep up within me. My anxiety often makes it hard for me to calm down and have fun.

Since anxiety can overwhelm me in any place at any time, I’ve been desperate to numb it in any way possible.

The Evil Monkey Can be Calmed by Substances

At the beginning of “Model Misbehavior” (2005), the Griffins get in the car to go to Lois’s parents’ house. Chris sits in the backseat as the Evil Monkey stands on the sill of his bedroom window.

As soon as the car leaves the driveway, the monkey sighs with relief and jumps onto Chris’s bed. It plays Foghat’s “Slow Ride”, throws on some headphones, and rolls a joint.

When I want to chill out, I also prefer to put on my headphones and listen to my favorite happy or calming songs.

Instead of smoking a joint, I sometimes drink a few beers while listening to music. While I can have a few drinks now and then, I know drinking is NEVER an appropriate coping mechanism. Anytime I drank to make my anxiety go away, I would feel ten times more anxious when the beer buzz wore off. Consuming too much alcohol sends my anxiety into overdrive.

I rarely smoke marijuana; I’ve used it a few times to soothe severe anxiety. I took hits off a marijuana pipe to fend off a panic attack and used CBD oil when I couldn’t get through the day. Both were much more effective than alcohol. Unfortunately, my anxiety returned in full force after their calming effects wore off.

I also took the prescribed medication Zoloft to treat my Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The drug calmed me for the most part, but it also made me feel like a zombie. Like marijuana, the medication numbed my anxiety until its effects wore off, or I stopped taking it.

I’ll never EVER criticize anyone for using marijuana, CBD, or prescribed medications as anxiety remedies. If someone finds an effective treatment that works for them, they have every right to use it.

Personally, whenever I used substances or medications, I felt like I was only mellowing myself out temporarily. My anxiety was still there; it was just in a deep sleep. While the Evil Monkey is chill smoking a joint on Chris’s bed, it goes back to its usual shaking-and-pointing self.

After years of trying these various solutions, I know now what I must do. I need to confront what I fear like how Chris did after almost a decade of torment.

Confronting the Evil Monkey Proves It’s Not as Bad as It Seems

In the season eight episode “Hannah Banana” (2009), Chris sets a trap for the Evil Monkey to prove it’s real. Once he captures the creature, he ties it up and drags it into the living room to show his parents and sister. Chris’s family reacts in shock to the sight of it and, most importantly, finally believes him.

I can’t capture my anxiety disorder and present it in front of my family. So instead, I wrote out some of my anxious thought patterns for them to read like this one:

You can’t publish your writing. No one will like it. What if you publish something and everyone hates it? What if you become a pariah because your writing is so universally despised? What if people harass you online or even in person because they hate you so much?

Through writing, my family could see how anxiety works inside my brain. They now understand how my anxiety disorder makes me fear the worst about so many things.

In “Hannah Banana”, the Griffins learn the most important thing about the Evil Monkey: it isn’t evil at all. While captured in the living room, the “Evil Monkey” asks the Griffins to untie him so he can explain himself. After Peter unties him, he tells the family his backstory.

The Monkey had a good life until he caught his wife cheating. He got divorced and became depressed, which caused him to lose his job and house. He moved into Chris’s closet until he could get back on his feet.

Peter, Lois, and Meg believe and sympathize with the Monkey while Chris remains scared of him. The Monkey tells Chris he never meant to frighten him. His “scary pointing” was his way of trying to start a conversation. His “evil stare” is the expression he makes while thinking, and his “weird shaking” is due to a copper deficiency.

Chris refuses to believe the Monkey’s explanation at first. When the Monkey helps Chris get an “A” on his book report, the fear Chris struggled with for years melts away. He learns to live in peace and even have fun with his new monkey buddy.

My anxiety disorder and I will most likely never be buddies. But I am learning to make peace with my anxiety by understanding it for what it is. While the “Evil Monkey” was never evil and didn’t want to hurt Chris, my anxiety is not some evil force out to destroy me. It’s a cluster of irrational thoughts I can tame through positive coping strategies:

Four Ways I Tamed the “Evil Monkey” that is My Generalized Anxiety Disorder

1. Therapy

Through therapy, I can process my anxiety in a safe space. I tell my therapist what frightens or bothers me, and she helps me realize that my fears are not as scary as they seem.

2. Journaling

Writing my spinning thoughts down in my journal shows me how unrealistic they are. Journaling allows me to rationalize my worries, which disempowers them.

3. Grounding Techniques

My anxiety often makes me dwell on the past or fear the future. I use grounding techniques like repeating the current date to myself so I can stay in the present. I’ve prevented panic attacks by counting the colors I see around me or spelling out words on street signs.

4. Yoga

When I focus on a yoga pose, I remain in the present moment. Yoga also helps me control my breathing. Deep, focused breathing makes my anxiety soften into a sleepy state.

Conclusion

At the end of “Hannah Banana”, the “Evil Monkey” decides it’s time to move on. He packs his bags and leaves Chris’s closet for good.

I used to wish my Generalized Anxiety Disorder would disappear someday. Though if it never goes away, I now know I can live a long, happy life by using positive coping techniques to control it.

I’m doing better with my anxiety, but I have more work to do. I hope when I open my mind’s closet one day, I’ll no longer see my “Evil Monkey” making a mess. My closet will be neat and organized. While my “Evil Monkey” may never leave, at least he’ll be sitting quietly in a corner.

Image Sources

Family Guy screenshots from Hulu, Fox Broadcasting Company, and Fuzzy Door Productions.